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Who We Are - Sermon, Sunday, July 13th, 2003
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Malachi 2:10-16 as follows —
Have we not all one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another? Judah has broken faith. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the LORD loves, by marrying the daughter of a foreign god. As for the man who does this, whoever he may be, may the LORD cut him off from the tents of Jacob — even though he brings offerings to the LORD Almighty. Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.É So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.
Some believe that it is too easy to exit a marriage. Many people are concerned about the home and family, and view marriage as one of the main building blocks in human society. They believe that part of what's wrong today is that it is too easy for couples to get divorced. Those who've been through the anguish of divorce might say it's not easy at all! But by easy I mean, legally it's fairly simple, and socially, it has become acceptable to exit your marriage via divorce.
Others believe that it's too easy to enter marriage. Again, you might disagree, if you've ever planned a huge church wedding with all the frills and thrills involved in that. But it's not hard at all to get married. In Alaska, you don't even need a church or chapel, priest or preacher; your second cousin from Talkeetna can marry you in a boat if that's you want.
More than anyone else, Christians are concerned about marriage. Whether you're married or not, have been married, will be married or may never be married — you and I are deeply concerned about marriage because God is deeply concerned about it. And that's not just because marriage is his idea. It's not just because marriage is meant to be a blessing for all of human society. It's also because, as our text today shows us, MARRIAGE IS A SPIRITUAL THING!
And it always has been. Throughout the Old Testament, God was very concerned about marriage — and how his people entered it. Not what kind of ceremony they had or where it was or who was invited. No, the LORD cared about the person to whom the Israelite got hitched. In his Law, speaking of the people of other nations in and around Israel, he said: "Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons." And he gave the reason, "for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and the LORD's anger will burn against you." Serious words, but words that flowed from God's love for his people and his concern for their spiritual welfare.
The LORD God had created this little slice of the human race and set them apart from all others for his purposes. As their Father he had given them life; as their LORD he had made his covenant of grace with them, a holy agreement in which he committed himself to them, to be their God and their Savior. He also spelled out his will for them, which they often chose to ignore. Here we get a picture of how things were in Judah about four centuries before Christ. Through Malachi, the LORD expressed his horror at what was going on. His people were guilty of "a detestible thing." The men of Judah were "marrying the daughter of a foreign god" in direct defiance of God's will and commands.
The men of Judah looked down on the God-fearing women of Judah and were attracted to God-less Canaanite women, and the LORD was horrified. Why? Because the way a person enters marriage says a lot about his or her relationship with God. Because getting married reflects one's faith, one's connection with the LORD. A man who would marry an idol-worshipping woman did so in contempt for God. He showed that he didn't see a difference between the true God and Baal. That he wasn't interested in spiritual things. That he valued other qualities more highly in a prospective wife. On his shopping list for a wife, faith and godliness were no where near the top — maybe not on it at all.
Their attitude toward marriage reflected a poor (or non-existent) relationship with God. It also affected their relationship with God, as ntermarriage sucked them even further away into the black hole of unbelief. And just imagine what it did for their children's faith and upbringing! So this is where I tell you, "There, you see? Thou shalt not marry someone who is not a Christian!" Sometimes I wish we could say that, but we can't! We do not live under God's Old Testament Law, and there is no New Testament command like that, nothing that forbids a believer in Christ to marry an unbeliever. That being said, though, there are some things we ought to consider! First off, when a Christian marries a non-Christian, sometimes that spouse becomes a believer, and we rejoice along with the angels in heaven! But understand — many times that does not happen, and there remains a great spiritual divide between husband and wife. They're traveling together — in opposite directions! And sometimes it goes the other way; even wise old Solomon was led astray by his heathen wives.
Consider also this: Because marriage IS a spiritual thing and does reflect what's in the heart, when a Christian marries a non-Christian, it may indicate spiritual weakness. It may indicate a lack of respect for God's truth or lack of trust in God to provide a Christian spouse. It may indicate a valuing of worldly qualities above faith-qualities. To you who might get married some day: What are you looking for? What's on your shopping list for a spouse? Good looks, great body, charm, sense of humor? Money or the ability to make lots of it? Prestige, security, comfort? What's your bottom line? Does "hot" outweigh "godly"? Or does "Christian" outweigh all other attractions?
How you enter marriage says a lot about your relationship with the LORD. Your choice of spouse will reflect your relationship with Christ, and it will surely affect your relationship with Christ! We can say the same of how a person exits a marriage. And there certainly is a lot of exiting going on! But exiting marriage, divorce, is nothing new. Moses had to issue regulations in order to protect the wives of Israel, and here in Malachi's day, divorce was commonplace. This, too, was something that the LORD looked on with horror, even if his people did not. Oh, they were upset. They "flooded his altar with tears"! But those were not tears of repentance. No, they were upset because the LORD was not blessing them as they thought they deserved. He wasn't answering their prayers. They whined, "It's not fair! Why is he treating us this way?"
Answer: "It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her." God had witnessed their vows and now witnessed the breaking of those vows. He who joined husband and wife in this sacred covenant now saw husbands sending away their partners. And he said, "I HATE DIVORCE!" It can't get much plainer than that. God hates divorce. He calls it "violence" and that's what it is. Divorce does violence to spouse, children, family, church, to all of society. It is a violent evil in the eyes of God, and this is a spiritual thing — "breaking faith" with one's spouse is breaking faith with one's LORD. Twice he warns: "So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith."
Today things aren't a whole lot different. Even among people who profess Christ, divorce is considered to be the honorable, or at least necessary, way out. It is the socially acceptable exit for couples who have tried valiantly (or not) but couldn't seem to make it last. "It just didn't work out," they say, "so we split up." We may not be horrified by that, but God still is! The Lord Jesus said, "So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
Marriage is God's institution. It's meant to be a reflection of the marriage that God wants to exist between himself and his redeemed people; he has "married" us to himself! The church, the sum total of believers in Christ, is called the "bride" of Christ. By faith, we've been married to the Savior who "loved us and gave himself up for us to make us holy." Our heavenly Bridegroom is Jesus, God's own Son, "in whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins." Yes, in him we have the forgiveness of sins, and that includes forgiveness of all our marriage-related sins as well — whether in regard to entering marriage or exiting marriage, or anything in-between!
Dear fellow Christians, we must choose to get our beliefs about marriage not from Hollywood or Madison Avenue, not from Cosmo magazine or our "Friends" on TV, but from God's Word. Then we will view it not as a non-spiritual human contract, but as a divine institution. As a relationship centered in God and his will and his desire to bless us and his grace to us in Christ. As something that both reflects and affects our relationship with our LORD! Indeed, all the way from the "I think I like him/her" to the "I do's" to the "death parts us," marriage IS a spiritual thing. Amen.